How to end a relationship gracefully

How to end a relationship gracefully

There are lots of reasons why relationships end, but generally, infidelity, bad timing and lack of chemistry are the most common. Ending a relationship can be one of the most difficult things to do but it can also be ultimately the most liberating because it allows you and your partner a chance for a new start. Also, the longer the relationship lasts, the harder it gets. There is no easy way to break up with someone; there is a way to do it gracefully, with maturity and respect.


Some people feel that a relationship is measure of their own self-worth. If someone breaks up with them, it is because there is something wrong with them. In reality, relationships rarely end because there is something “wrong” with one or both partners; they usually end because the spark just isn’t there. You can help ease the blow by telling your partner that you simply do not (or no longer) feel a connection. This way, you are offering a strong reason for ending the relationship without finding fault with or placing blame on your former partner.


So how to end a relationship gracefully?

In person,

Not by text on social media, in a restaurant. Give the ending a measure of respect. Do not ghost. However, if you are in a relationship where you are concerned your partner may become violent/unpredictable, take steps that ensure you are safe.

Giving back of stuff,

Belongings, money, the dog’s tennis ball!! Give it back! Don’t withhold or use it as a means of punishment because all you are doing is prolonging things. Even if you think you have the upper hand or the power by withholding, you are still using this as a form of communication or a way to stay connected

Co –dependency

Don’t drag things out, yes I am breaking up with you, no I am not, this could be a sign of co- dependency which is a pattern you can learn better about in therapy. If you are struggling with letting go, make an appointment with me https://www.louisaniehaus.com/contact/

Co –dependency is a pattern of behaviour in which you find yourself dependent on approval from someone else for your self-worth and identity.

When your sense of purpose in life is about making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner’s needs. Co-dependent relationships have a degree of unhealthy clinginess, where one person doesn’t have self-sufficiency or autonomy. One or both parties depend on their loved ones for fulfilment. These patterns and relationships are often the most difficult to break because there is a lot of yoyo back and forth behaviour that happens during a break up.

Cut contact

Cut contact for a while, to get you and the other person habituated to the finality of things. Do not have a few drinks and text or have booty calls

Unresolved emotions

If you are angry, work this out in therapy, not in public. Say what you need to the other person at a later stage when you are calmer

Don’t carry pent up fury/hurt in you, it’s bad for your health, mental state, affects your work, your life



It’s normal and none of us like feeling the hurt, the loneliness, the loss. We all want to avoid this. But you have to go through it, to experience love, we have to be able to experience a variety of emotions and sadness and loss is one of them. The more open you are to grieving process, the easier you will work through the pain.



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